The Art Of Companionship- Touch

Photo is "Male And Fmail Hands Set 06" by FantasyStock at Deviant Art.

Something shifted when Albert asked me to renew our relationship in its old form. I guess it was the right idea at the right time.

As I re-embrace being a Courtesan again, I am thinking about all that I love about it. There's something magic about someone wanting to give you scads of money just to hang out and smooch and have fun. Beyond great for a battered ego :)

Logic tells me they have to find value there to be willing to do so. So, I continue to ask: what do I bring that would make this man want to renew our Patron/Courtesan thing after being infinitely clear that he would not go there again?

I have identified some elements that I think go into being a good companion. I talked about what I think is the most important quality, Listening, a couple of years ago.

Today I'd like to talk about a piece in that post about Touching.

Secret #1- listen/feel/tune into to how your lover touches you.
They are letting you know how they like to be touched

That statement is true in a broad sense. If someone touches me with strong hands, this tells me there's a good chance that feathers aren't their thing. If they spend lots of time on touching, that tells me they probably like to be touched. If they want to "get down to business" right away, that informs me, too. If he is very oral, I do more orally focused stuff on him.

Implementing this one secret has made many a man think me "a good lover." And it's so simple. Just follow their lead...not right away so you're copying them in the moment, but listen to what they're telling you then use it in your mix.

But there's another element here that I'd like to focus on in this discussion.

Most people have never been touched deeply, with full presence and intention. It makes makes sense to me that those who have never received this kind of touch might not know how to give it. In this case, a good companion will introduce new ways of being with the body that the patron may never have considered.

People can feel when someone is in their hands. I sure can feel when they aren't. They don't feel like they are focused on me at all- feels like they're just going through the motions. Their movements are jerky. There is no tenderness, no connection.

Conversely, there is a way to touch that illicits a sigh and a shiver. There is a way to somatically listen to the muscles when giving a massage...a communion of fingers and muscle. If a muscle is kneaded too soon it will spasm in protection. But when touched just the right way and at the right time, it will open and release. Short, chaotic strokes leave a person feeling more disconnect than ease. Pulling away quickly after someone has come (whether with mouth or hands) can be startling to them.

There is an art to touching. Many people just have it down innately, but it can also be learned.

When in doubt- slow down and put all your attention in your hands. Start by just holding your hand over the skin. See if you can feel anything before you touch. Then slowly put your hand on the skin, just touching the surface. Slowly make small, undulating circles with your fingers and palms...gently moving the skin over the muscles. Focus on the sensations. Play. Then go deeper, putting all your attention into imagining the muscles melting like butter in your hands. After a bit, imagine the energy of your fingers going all the way to the bones.

Any movement done slowly changes it from nice to exquisite. Any movement when accompanied with this imagining your energy going into the person shifts it from mindless rubbing to feeling it in the soul. The body knows when we're there.

When a body is touched the right way, the mind follows suit. And while the body is the primary vehicle we tend to focus on in Courtesan relationships, I believe that it's only when the mind is touched that the patron will find value.

Photo is "Male And Fmail Hands Set 06" by FantasyStock at Deviant Art.