How I Would Do It Today 1

So...if I was starting today, how would I do it? The more I pondered this, the more I see that it will take me awhile to explain it all (imagine that, hehehee) so will do it in a series.

First off, I would get my ducks in order. I would ask myself all the questions I posed in this post.
Then, if I didn't know what kind of companion I wanted to be, I would read this post here. Being clear on why and how I want to operate is the foundation of everything I would do. I think of it as kind of like my mission statement. It determines how I operate in the relationship, advertise, set up my parameters for screening, setting rates or goals for income, etc.

Then I would begin intense researching to get a background from different perspectives. No matter which form of companion I chose to be, I would learn everything I could from all the different people out there who have gone before me. I would do searches online of Escort sites, Courtesan Sites- both agencies and private ones of all levels of income and intent. I would read everything, save my favorites then be sure to analyse them later for the specific reasons I liked them.

I would Google terms like Mistress, Courtesan, Concubine, Kept Woman, Illicit Affair, Affair, philanderer, extramarital affair, sugardaddy (even though I loathe the word), and read everything that applied.

I would read every book I could find online and off to hear more. I would order Amanda Brooks' book . I have not read it, but admire her writing and the fact that she seems thorough and levelheaded. I would order Sugar Daddy 101, (did I mention that I hate that term? Yes....well....can't be said enough, so get used to the whining). I have read this one and cannot relate to it at all, but that's not the point. The point is to learn everything I can from every angle out there.

In that vein: As I was not born into ubermoney, I would go to Ginie Sayles' Website and read all her books. I first learned of her when I was in high school watching Phil Donahue (hint: she's been around a long time). She was a unabashed gold digger who has step by step courses on how to meet The Rich* , get The Rich for clients, how to fit in, how to marry The Rich and other stuff. Not that you necessarily want to marry there, but if you want to move in those circles you better learn how to be in those circles. Unless they are a rebel sort of "Rich," Gentlemen are not going to want to have someone who sticks out like a sore thumb as their Mistress. My mini review: She is quite the engaging character and my hat goes off to her...and there is no way in hell I would do half of the stuff she suggests because we operate differently. But, again....that's not what this is about and reading her gives a background, a flavor, a base platform to jump off from. Lots of good, but indirect, information.

I would go to Amazon and look up books using all the search terms suggested for Google above and invest in the ones that catch my eye. Each author has something that will spark, no matter whether the overall content appeals or not. I would look for things about finding dates with or marrying the wealthy. These books suggest ways to meet people that are creative and unique. As I wanted to be a Courtesan, I would read both the fictional and historical accounts of Courtesans, Geishas, Hetairi, Dakinis, Indian Devi's, Concubines, Tantrikas, Mistresses, Quadroons of New Orleans, Whores, Hookers, Escorts, Strippers, Lorettes, Burlesque Ladies, Les Grandes Horizontales, Dommes, and other professional sex workers.

I would watch or rewatch movies about Whores of all kinds:**

Dangerous Beauty- Of Venetian Courtesan Veronica Franco, the Honest
Courtesan

Belle de Jour- Catherine Deneuve as a call girl

Dangerous Liasons- Intrigue and venom with John Malkovich, Glenn Close, Uma Thurman and Michele Pfeiffer during glam days of the 1700's (all
that poof and hair!).

Bliss- About a Tantric healer who teaches a husband to help heal his wife of sexual trauma. Although the word Tantra is never uttered, all the practices are Tantric and they have Tantric art around everywhere.

Elysian Fields- Mick Jagger runs a male escort service
and Andy Garcia is a married writer who needs money to support his family. Angelica Houston was wonderful in this.

Pretty Woman - cuz we all love a cheesy feel good movie

American Gigolo-Richard Gere has a great butt.

The Lady and The Duke- A Courtesan during the French Revolution

Breakfast At Tiffany's- not overt, but it is pretty clear Holly is a companion

I would read escort blogs and scour all their archives. I would read with a discrminating eye, looking for atmosphere, content, personality, angle of presentation, how I felt reading it, what I thought its purpose was. I would read them not only for the important information presented, but also to get a feel for how I would want to do my own blog. (marketing will be covered in the next post).

I would talk to any Sex Worker woman who was excited about talking about herself. However....Re: blogland and elsewhere. Please consider that most of the women who do Sex Work and/or blog about it, get numerous contacts from women asking about how they do it and for ideas on how to get started. To date, every one of the blogland women I have come in contact with in person or email (save one) has been extremely kind and polite. Their humanity and caring has come through even more than in their blogs. I have read posts in the past by some of the others who have addressed this mentoring thing on their posts. Many of them feel uncomfortable mentoring because there is no one way to go about this and it is best for each person to create what they do for themselves. Please remember that these are business women and many of them don't have time to do business consulting with everyone who writes. In most every other business, you would hire (that's right, PAY) someone to consult you in your new business venture. I don't know of any other business where someone would be willing to take the hand of someone they don't know or have connection with, and walk them through step by step on how to do something they spent time, energy and money doing so that they can now have more competition. Yes, we want to be "supportive" of our sisters, (hello!...this is why I am doing "my part" here in this series on my ideas about this). But that support and respect goes two ways. Please respect these women, their time and energy.
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Sounds like lots. I am someone who yearns for knowledge. I research everything I come in contact with and want to do because I love to learn and I feel it gives me more to operate with. While I think all this would give me an edge, particularly these days where I see it as a "Buyer's Market" in regards to whoring, I am just sharing me and how I would do it. But none of it is necessary.

The Old Guy has been mentoring a women, we will call her M, for years. For some reason she decided to make him her confidant. She was a private stripper when they met. As time went on she started to do hand jobs. This led to full service. Which led to her being invited to Mexico one time by one client...but when she got there, it turned out to be the client and four of his friends. They were all together for a week down there. This developed into a thing where they "shared her."

They and their wives were all good friends. So aside from them all seeing M in town, they all traveled together as couples, so they would bring her on trips and hide her on a different floor of the hotel, each taking turns throughout the day to be with her and covering for each other. This worked really well for all for about a year. During this time, she noticed that she got plenty of sex, but not much wining and dining and she wanted to play. So she placed an ad in the personals for a platonic playmate. The guy she picked ended up being beyond rich. She didn't even tell him about her other life until they had been going out for about five months. When she finally did, he asked her if they could be sexual and he support her. She hemmed and hawed a bit, but eventully agreed to it as some of the others had gone away. Eventually she left the others and left town because he got her an apartment in the City. She gets multiple "wardrobes" when she shops. Has credit cards with no limits. Gets an extremely generous stipend (with wads of cash the Old Guy is tutoring her on getting in the system and paying taxes on), goes on trips, owns real estate and I think she has her whole life retirement worked out. She puts up friends at hotels, goes to private clubs....you get the picture. All with no thought at all.

Which brings up another very important preliminary- knowing yourself and your belief systems. And your self-limiting belief systems. We all have them in different areas. I believe it helps in everything we do to figure out where where we limit ourselves, where we don't believe in ourselves, where we think our strengths vs. weaknesses lie, where we self-sabotage. Just like in any business, if I am vigilant about them, then I can choose to walk through when they come up rather than running and hiding and never moving forward.

I did all of these steps, but not before I started. But if I had done all this preliminary stuff, I would now feel ready for the next step: Putting myself out there. Will talk about that next.....

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* Sayles always capitalizes "The Rich."

Makes them seem mystical and mythic, yes? Once you get to know them, they aren't. They're just like everyone else but with more zeros. And guess what? They fart. Oh...excuse me...I forgot...maybe they don't as, for instance, my mother only "emitted."

** I am sure there are more, but these are the ones I have seen. Suggestions always appreciated. Livvy did a review on some movies. They are in her archives (and I am, once again, too lazy to find all the links, but reading all her archives is a treat in and of itself- her blog is a highly recommended read, indeed.)